Holding On
by WordNerb93
Summary: Contest story with Avarellia Ebony. Subject: Severus Snape and Lily Evans  Potter . One-Shot, and a good deal of speculation. Enjoy!


**Here it is! For those of you who know me (and read my message involving the story contest), this is my Harry Potter story. Not my usual element, but still...**

**This contains references to Snape's memories in _The Deathly Hallows_, so might want to visit that scene if necessary.  
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**I don't own Harry Potter or its characters...  
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><p>Year One:<p>

Severus glanced around. This spot was almost impossible to find. It had taken him days of looking to find it, but now maybe they would have a place to talk without Petunia spying again.

Severus sighed as he lay down on the grass. He had dropped that branch on her, but he hadn't really meant it. She had made him so mad! She had no right to comment on his clothes like that, the filthy Muggle.

He grimaced at the thought.

Still, he knew that Lily wouldn't like it, which was why he had denied dropping it.

He was just glad Lily had forgiven him. Even if she was Muggle-born, she was his only friend. She didn't judge him for his Muggle father or his clothes.

He smiled as he thought to how she had tried to comfort him when she learned of his parents' fighting. He didn't like how his parents fought, but something good did come out of it. A friend.

And, as long as she would stay, he would be her friend too.

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><p>Year Two (First Year at Hogwarts):<p>

The feast was set before him. Severus had never seen so much food at once, and all of it appeared so delicious.

But Severus lacked the appetite to enjoy it.

The prefect beside him, Lucias Malfoy, was talking to him, something about purebloods and Slytherin, but he wasn't listening. He was too busy watching Lily.

At least, attempting to. He could barely make her out across the Great Hall. He wondered if they could still be friends, even if they were in different houses.

He thought through their friendship so far; how they had enjoyed their time together; how, despite the issues that arose between them, they remained friends. Sure, it had only been about two years, but it was far longer than any other friends Severus had had before.

He nodded to himself. They could still remain friends.

A thump on the back brought him out of his reverie. Malfoy was still talking to him, now bringing up bits about halfblooded wizards and witches and Mudbloods. The insults against both made Severus's ears curl. Especially since he had a Muggle father.

He guessed that his nod had been assumed to mean that he was pureblood. 

_Well_, he mused, _no need to let them think otherwise_.

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><p>Year Three (Second Year at Hogwarts):<p>

As the Slytherin's headed down to their common room for the first time this year, Severus was lost in thought.

While Hogwarts was the place for him to be a wizard, where he could actually use his magic, it was also the place where he was not able to be with Lily whenever they wished.

First, they both had classes that kept them both busy.

Then there where Lily's new friends. Outside Hogwarts, he was her only friend, and vice versa. As such, they would be together a lot.

But here, Lily had made new friends, and she no longer needed him around to be with someone.

Of course, it was easy for her. She was very friendly and kind. A lot of people would admire her for it.

But he didn't have anyone who would admire him that way. No one wanted to be friends with 'Snivellus.' Even the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs called him that now, thanks to that idiot Potter.

Severus loathed that boy, more so than even that stupid Muggle Petunia. Along with Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew, he tortured Severus last year.

The only person who never laughed at their cruelty was Lily. Severus wondered if Lily would be the only friend he would have here.

He felt a slight twitch inside his robe. He reached in and pulled out a small package which promptly detonated into a smelly cloud. 

_This is going to be a long year_, he thought.

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><p>Year Four (Third Year at Hogwarts):<p>

Severus was returning from detention. Avery had managed to get him in trouble again.

Not that Severus minded too much. Having him and Mulciber as friends was loads better than having none at all.

And, what made it even better, almost no one pushed him around anymore. No one did when those two were around.

The only people who did when they weren't were Potter and his group. They never failed to pass up a chance to get at him.

Severus never bothered to retaliate afterword. He knew it would gain nothing. So, with a little help from Avery and Mulciber, he began to devise new spells. Sure, some of them used Dark Magic, and he had already invented some others, but it would be worth it to see Potter get what was coming to him.

And maybe, just maybe, he could show everyone what Potter was really like. Show everyone that Potter was rotten to the core.

Especially Lily.

Severus narrowed his eyes as he remembered hearing Potter make a pass at her. He grinned, however, as he remembered how Lily swiftly turned his charm into the trash it really was.

She should have been in Ravenclaw with that wit. Not to mention how fast she picked up on Potions. He only knew one person better: himself. He shook his head, wondering how he had gotten to that thought.

That's when he heard footsteps. Glancing around, he hid in a side room. He looked through the crack of the door and saw Potter, Black, and Pettigrew moving down the corridor.

_Their sneaking out again!_ _Every full moon,_ he thought. He had brought up the idea that Lupin, who also disappeared every full moon, was a werewolf to Lily, but she had brushed it off. 

_Someday I'll prove it_, he thought. _Someday, I'll show everyone that those boys are more horrible than anyone could imagine!_

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><p>Year Five (Fourth Year at Hogwarts):<p>

This was the first Christmas that Severus and Lily would visit home.

They sat on the Hogwarts Express, chatting, when something rattled in one of Severus's bags.

"What have you got in there?" Lily asked.

Severus frowned. "Nothing that moves."

He reached for it, only to recoil as a Stink Pellet detonated. The compartment quickly filled with a deplorable odor.

Severus and Lily quickly exited the compartment, coughing and trying to rid themselves of the disgusting odor. A bout of nearby laughter caught their attention.

The pair found James Potter and Sirius Black in the next compartment, their faces red from laughter. Severus raised his wand, readying one of his spells, when Lily shouted, "_I__mmobulus!_"

The two boys immediately froze, unable to move. "Come on, Severus," Lily said, pulling him out.

Severus repressed a grin. He always enjoyed watching her Charm-work.

As they exited the compartment, they bumped into none other than Remus Lupin. He took a sniff and blanched. "They used a Stink Pellet, didn't they?"

While Severus simply glared at him, Lily nodded.

"I told those two to leave you alone, but no, they had to have a laugh or two before getting home." He glanced to the compartment. "But why are they so quiet?"

Lily twirled her wand slightly and Remus grinned. "I'm guessing the Freezing Charm. I'll go sort those two out."

With that, he ducked into the compartment, leaving Severus and Lily alone in the corridor.

Lily shook her head. "I really wish he wouldn't hang out with those two. He's not such a bad guy, but he goes along with those two and makes a fool of himself."

Severus nodded, but he actually wishing the Lupin had been in the compartment when Lily had cast her Charm.

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><p>Year Six (Fifth Year at Hogwarts):<p>

Severus was worried. He hadn't thought she meant it to go on this long.

He knew she was mad, and he had let her have her space to cool off.

But after weeks of not speaking to her, he had gone up to her. And every attempt to speak to her had been met with silence. Cold, uncaring silence.

He tried everything he could think of to show her that he was truly sorry.

The only one that even got her to speak with him was when he said he would stop hanging around with Avery and Mulciber. But it had only been a, "Sure you would," before she walked away.

He looked at her now, sitting at the Gryffindor table. She was talking to her circle of friends, which also included Lupin at the moment.

He despised that werewolf almost as much as Potter and Black. And Lily never had listened to him when he told her what Lupin truly was.

He sighed and picked at his plate. _Will we ever be friends again?_ he wondered.

He watched as Lupin said something, causing her to burst into laughter. Even across the Great Hall and the chatter of everyone, he could still hear it.

Then she caught sight of him. The mirth in her eyes vanished and her smile changed into a frown.

Lupin noticed and looked to Severus. When the werewolf saw him, Severus saw something that he hadn't expected; pity.

Severus looked down at his plate. He didn't want anyone's pity. Only the weak deserved it. 

_But isn't that who I once was, before her…_

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><p>Year Seven (Sixth Year at Hogwarts):<p>

Severus turned the corner, only to bump into Lily.

"Oh, Severus…" She trailed off for a moment. Then she looked him in the eye. "I wanted to tell you something."

Severus couldn't disguise his confusion. She hadn't spoken to him since last year. He hadn't even seen her until they had returned to Hogwarts, and even then she had seemed to be avoiding him.

"Severus, I wanted to apologize for my actions. It wasn't right for me to blame you for so long, especially after all you tried to do. Could we… could we try to be friends again?"

Severus almost had to think of it. She had waited almost a year to apologize.

But something overcame any doubt he had. He was in love with her.

He had figured it out over the past year as her absence had torn him apart. And, for that love, he was more than willing to forgive.

So he smiled. "Of course, Lily. You didn't even need to apologize."

She gave him a small smile and, before he knew it, hugged him. He awkwardly returned it.

They released each other and Lily grinned. "I have some free time after lunch. Do you want to meet then?"

Severus nodded. "I would love to."

Her grin grew radiant, and they parted.

As Severus moved around that corner, another voice stopped him. "You realize she's been wanting to do that since this summer?"

Severus whirled around, his eyes narrowing. "Lupin."

The teenage werewolf nodded slightly. "Severus, I'm glad you two made up. Lily hasn't been the same since you two fought."

"Why should you care? It was you and your friends that made it happen!"

Lupin sighed. "Yes, which was why I tried my best to convince her to forgive you before the end of the year. Regardless of what James and Sirius think, I don't think you are half bad. You've just gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd."

Severus narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

Lupin patted his back, said, "Good bye," and walked off.

Despite himself, Severus smirked. _Guess not even his friends should trust him…_

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><p>Year Eight (Seventh Year at Hogwarts):<p>

Severus emerged from his recollections.

He found it hard to believe that he was about to leave Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

He found it harder to believe that he may not see some off his friends again.

And it was almost impossible for him to believe that he might not see Lily again. Despite their best efforts, their friendship never managed to be more than a friendly acquaintanceship.

Severus had then buried himself in his passion to become a Death Eater, and Lily had gone and begun to date that Potter.

Severus wanted to mock her choice, but he couldn't bring himself to. He still loved her, and would continue to love her long after they parted ways. 

_But,_ he thought, _life has a funny way of keeping people together. I may see her again, and, for that, I will hold on to her. _

_I'll hold on as long as I live…_

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><p><strong>There we go. Hope it wasn't bad for my first Harry Potter story. And, to complete the contest, please visit Avarellia Ebony's story Always. Also, if you could drop a vote at the poll she is setting up, that would be great.<strong>

**Please review!  
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